Recently, a lot of people have been talking to me about struggles their kids are having and the underlying stress of it all seems to be that they are not seeing their kids accepted by society. They aren’t “fitting in”. I would say outliers. I also wonder – should fitting in be the goal? I mean if we look at society, things are sorta messy – maybe this next generation will be the ones who change it. Maybe they are the next RBG’s or Greta Thunbergs or maybe even Will Ferrells – when our son was young and giving us a hard time we would console ourselves trying to imagine what Will Ferrell’s mom probably had to put up with during his school years. You have to be at least a little different if you’re going to change the world.

So I offer that mind trickery to anyone struggling with your kid not fitting in the way you pictured it. Turning the situation on its head is a great way of taking yourself out of the rabbit hole. Or as LM says, “change the channel”. Adding ridiculousness to situations always helps me remember life itself is pretty ridiculous. As the Vonnegut print in my office reminds me – we are here to fart around. Well that and be kind.

What I’ve learned over the 22 years I’ve been parenting is situations change, kids grow up and the only thing that matters is that they are happy and healthy. And when I think back, I remember all the good times we had getting to know them. The cringey moments were when we were trying to mold them into some preconceived notion of well-adjusted. Some of their teachers may have wished we pushed that preconceived notion a little more but they all survived, not to mention it gave them opportunities to grow as an educator. In actuality I gave really nice holiday and end of year gifts.