Hi! Thank you for visiting my site, I am humbled and flattered and I hope I can share some joy and some laughter discussing a few things I’ve learned through my life as a woman, wife, mother, and daughter. My hope is to put something positive out in the world. It may not be ground-breaking or life-altering but I find that the smallest moments of insight can be the most meaningful for me.

As I started this, I really wanted to get back into writing. Earning my degree from UW Madison – Let’s go Badgers! –  with a double major in psychology and political science, I spent a lot of time in school researching, discussing/debating, and writing about ideas and theories and I loved every minute of it. At that time I pictured my future involving research or counseling. Then I met the love of my life and I decided that I was actually more interested in putting any gained knowledge or wisdom into use raising a family – leading my mom to tease me that I spent all that time (and money) earning my Mrs. degree. It wasn’t untrue, however, I never look at my education as a waste of time, honestly the amount of times I’ve used my ability to understand different viewpoints, argue counterpoints, and diffuse situations as a wife and mom is staggering. 

Since I wrote my first post for Lit Sugar, I have started to think more about the direction I hope this site will move. I was really hesitant because, being 51,  I am not of the digital age where anyone with access to the internet can tell people how or what to think. I won’t take advice from someone unless I know something about them. I don’t mean they have to be the top expert in their field, but I have to have something in common with or at the very least find something I can respect about them – let’s just say I never have nor do I anticipate ever understanding Twitter. I mean, I get it if you like following someone who is funny or interesting to you but the way people get fired up about some random stranger’s thoughts is baffling to me. 

So in writing essentially a blog (at least for now) I really felt pressed to validate my opinions. One of my favorite comedians, Michelle Wolf, did a bit on the evolution of expressing ideas in the digital world, stating that blogs are really just one person having a conversation no one asked them to have. She wasn’t exactly wrong and, I have a family and kids and let’s be honest, a discomfort with vulnerability, so I wanted to be very careful about how I put myself out into the world. I work really hard to live by the rule “first do no harm”, so I needed to feel secure that I wouldn’t be telling anyone else’s story. 

Also, I am very much a shy introvert who does not ooze confidence. Because of this I have been trying something one of my biggest North Stars, Glennon Doyle said worked for her. She had trouble too, going out to parties and events when it was so lovely and cozy on her couch with her family and dog. So after hearing a different perspective on how to “be” in public settings, she started going into them thinking, “there you are”, instead of “here I am”. It has helped me so much with my social awkwardness. You see, I overthink just about everything, so when I would go out I would always be trying to think of interesting things to talk about or stories that would entertain people, and then thinking and thinking about how I would approach that without hurting anyone else in any possible way. By the time I stepped out my door I was exhausted. So after I heard her take on it, I thought, “if it’s good enough for Glennon, it’s good enough for me”. Putting that move into action has been a true game changer, I no longer dread making conversation, in fact I look forward to it. I still very much prefer people coming to me so I don’t have to get out from under my favorite blanket, but baby steps, right? How does that relate to this? Well I’ve come to love expanding a conversation instead of being the topic of one. So remaining anonymous and just posting without any feedback is less than ideal. 

All of this to say that I am going to be adding comments to these posts in case anyone has a thought or story to share that gives their perspective. Along with that I will be adding a more in-depth About Us page so that if you stumble across this site and wonder who is writing this and why, well, you’ll have an answer.

This whole concept is completely new to me and I hope you will want to join me in trying to figure out all the things, even if it’s slightly awkward. I will make lots of mistakes along the way which hopefully helps even just one person feel more brave about being vulnerable because I see all of our media convincing people that they must ALWAYS be right before they even dare to speak, which is so incredibly stressful and a lot of people’s defense mechanisms fire up and arguments start over things that are literally just one piece of one person’s thoughts. In my opinion we should celebrate each other’s outlooks, perspectives, viewpoints – that is how we progress and evolve into a better society; not by pushing our opinions and agendas onto others or dismissing them because in one area of their life they believe something different than we do. Ram Dass put it best, “we are all just walking each other home”. Let’s have fun getting to know each other on that walk!